I wish I didn’t miss waking up next to you. ive broken alarm clocks, but -never you. the only thing we ever got right was touching each other. — don’t reverberate off me [to wake] playfully poke me, grab my hips, pulling me into you. — don’t speak in our voice, use, –our mannerisms. i […]

how to Do Self-Hate

self-hatred, for Dummies step 1: romanticize, fetishize, idolize it in another. sit in their empty. relish their hollow insides; a history of pristine memoried “what was”. polish it on weekends, like pretend still-living structure; make-uped abandoned church. — step 2: awe at Their glazed-over windows, broken beautiful. their inner tissue paper torn walls self-inflicted by […]

nowhere to Go but Down

Last night i scaled a tower being built as I went up in its elevator. seven stories; each it’s own tragedy. the door opened; there was nowhere but an unenclosed bird-sized spot to step out onto. — the first passenger with me in the lift, remarked Anxiously, “this building is made entirely of books,” the […]

a Doctor about a patient

“Her body just stopped working” the doctor continued, “Sometimes, when you’ve got bad enough depression and anxiety, your intestines grow in on themselves and kill you slowly.” “It doesn’t really matter what kind of lifestyle you decide to take or what kind of precautionary levels you strive to uphold, you will inevitably die of -excruciatingly- […]

paper thin building

the couple that live below me having loud sex was the alarm this morning. i turn music on to drown out the woman moans and furniture clanking. | | | | | the destruction ceases. i hear one of them turn on the shower. i guess it’s time to wake up.